Parenting Beyond Control: How Nervous System Healing Changes Everything
- Jason Becker
- Jan 13
- 3 min read
Why nervous system healing—not discipline strategies—changes everything
The Season 3 premiere of What the Hell Do I Know with JB opens with a powerful and timely conversation featuring licensed professional counselor associate Megan Hampton of Soul Care for Families. What unfolds is not a discussion about better discipline charts or stricter rules, but a deeper exploration of what actually creates peace in families.
Drawing from psychology, theology, and lived experience, Megan reframes parenting, obedience, and even biblical discipline—offering parents a more compassionate and effective way forward.
At the center of the conversation is a simple but disruptive truth: you can’t out-strategize your own nervous system.
Parenting Isn’t About Control
Many parents were taught that obedience equals success and control equals peace. Megan challenges that assumption directly.
Peace does not come from better systems, tighter rules, or harsher consequences. It comes from understanding what is happening inside the parent first. When a parent is dysregulated, no system will bring lasting calm. When a parent is regulated, children feel safety—and learning becomes possible.
You cannot behavior-manage your way to peace.
Meet Megan Hampton
Megan Hampton is a licensed professional counselor associate with a Master of Arts in Christian Counseling. Through her work with Soul Care for Families, she helps parents understand how trauma, attachment, and nervous system regulation shape family dynamics.
Her work resonates because it gives language to parents who want to break generational cycles without breaking their faith.
Rethinking “The Rod” and Biblical Parenting
One of the most discussed moments in the episode centers on spanking and the interpretation of “the rod.”
Megan explains that Proverbs is wisdom literature, not a literal parenting manual. In its original cultural and linguistic context, the rod often symbolized guidance and wisdom, not corporal punishment. Modern readers frequently project their own cultural experiences onto Scripture, leading to assumptions that were never intended.
She also highlights that in the New Testament there are only two clear parenting directives:
Do not provoke your children to anger
Teach them in the way of the Lord
That framework alone radically shifts how many parents understand discipline.
Nervous Systems, Not Just Behavior
Children are not just responding to rules or words. They are constantly reading the emotional state of the adults around them.
When a parent is calm, children borrow that calm.When a parent is anxious or overwhelmed, children absorb it.
This process, known as co-regulation, explains why connection and safety are far more effective than fear or intimidation.
Megan shares practical tools parents can use in real time:
Slowing the exhale while breathing
Orienting to the present moment using the five senses
Allowing physical movement to release emotion
These tools are not permissive. They are effective.
“Good Enough” Parenting Is Actually Enough
For parents carrying guilt, one of the most freeing insights in the episode is the concept of good-enough parenting.
Research shows children do not need perfect parents. They need parents who get it right some of the time and who are willing to repair when they get it wrong.
Repair looks like:
Apologizing
Reconnecting
Modeling accountability
Seeing parents fail and repair is often more beneficial than watching parents try to appear flawless.
Inner Child Work: The Hidden Key
When asked what she wishes she had started earlier, Megan’s answer is clear: inner child work.
Parenting triggers often reveal unresolved wounds from a parent’s own childhood. When those wounds are acknowledged and healed, reactions soften and relationships change.
Triggers are not signs of failure.They are invitations to healing.
Why This Conversation Resonates
This episode struck a nerve because it:
Validated overwhelmed parents instead of shaming them
Bridged faith and science without weaponizing either
Offered tools instead of fear
Modeled grace instead of control
This isn’t about raising compliant kids.It’s about raising whole, emotionally healthy humans.
About Soul Care for Families
Through Soul Care for Families, Megan offers:
Affordable PDFs on nervous system regulation
Weekly teachings via Substack ($6.99/month)
Counseling services for Texas residents
Instagram: @soulcareforfamilies
Call to Action
If this conversation resonated with you:
Share it with another parent
Subscribe to What the Hell Do I Know with JB
Follow Megan’s work and explore her resources
The next generation doesn’t need better systems.They need safer, more regulated adults.
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